Lady Gaga - "Abracadabra"
When it is NOT spooky season?
It’s rare for me to talk about a new video, especially one that’s less than a month old at the time of this writing. But ya’ll, this is GAGA. And it’s Gaga at her most Gaga, Gaga at her peak creepy-weird, Gaga playing multiple characters like it’s an Eddie Murphy movie. America—nay, the WORLD—needs this.
Now is also a great time to tell you that my paternal grandparents were professional magicians, so how could I possibly resist a song called “Abracadabra?” Would my Nana and Papa enjoy this video if they were still alive? I doubt it. They probably wouldn’t even make it through the whole thing. But I consider this an essential part of my lineage nonetheless!
We open with Lady Gaga wearing a hat that looks like a pocket detangling brush and telling us the category (of this video? of 2025??) is “dance or die.” I guess it’s time to dance!
Then we see there is another Gaga in a crowd of scantily-but-renaissancey-clad dancers and she is wearing a gigantic lace cape. They’re all in a giant black space that reminds me of a castle banquet hall going through some remodeling. Maybe this is what an AI generator would spit out if we prompted it with “Sofia Coppola’s Marie Antoinette but angrier and less clothing.”
But surprise, it’s not just art for art’s sake! I found this interview with Elle where Lady Gaga explains that these are two sides of herself, where red Gaga is the nagging inner critic planting seeds of doubt while white Gaga is the “purer” self who must persevere through all that negativity and “find the magic in it all.” I do like this message of fighting against your own negative self-talk (through dance!) but I confess I was hoping for some actual magic tricks scattered in here, like maybe Gaga saws one of her dancers in half or pulls a rabbit out of that big red hat.1 The energy I’m getting in this video is more “spooky” than “magic,” but I’m OK with that because spooky Lady Gaga is my favorite Lady Gaga.2
White Gaga’s dance squad answer the challenge by immediate going nuts and this one guy doing a split while Gaga shows us her majestic cape. And yes, it’s how I want to enter every room:
They’re all so excited about the cape that they have a group dance seizure while setting it up in a beautiful tableau:
When they all break away Gaga does this great shimmy directly to the camera as if to say “yeah I’m BACK, bitches, and yes I DO have a bunch of buttons up the front of this lace garment for no reason!” She also has a sidekick who helps everyone stay away from her cape:
There’s a lot of strong, gymnastic partner dancing in this video that feels very Kate Bush. Maybe choreographer Parris Goebel also loves “Running Up That Hill?”
The moment the chorus hits I’m transported back to 2009 Gaga. She’s looking sexy and slightly menacing! The backup dancers are in their underwear! It’s “Bad Romance’s” RAH RAH RO MA MA but now AMOR OOH NA NA!3
Speaking of underwear, what if Lady Gaga made the Lady Gaga equivalent of Skims and it’s just all the outfits from this video? I don’t usually go for lace but this stuff looks really breathable and flexible. Maybe they could also come in that red color because I hate washing whites? And maybe could we call them UnderGagarments? Just throwing out ideas!
Meanwhile Red Crab Gaga has come down from her wall turret and she also has a crew of backup dancers/demons. They all quake into the banquet hall like possessed goblins:
And we get another classic Gaga group dance, but this time even spookier and more menacing because it’s the red team and they’re all dressed like witches and they’re wielding heavy canes!
Again: not really what I’d call magic! Definitely spooky!
And now, hell yes, it’s time for a DANCE OFF between the red and black demons and the white underwear models:
Then there’s a puff of smoke and Gaga is lifted through the crowd, which at first made me fear that she’s been slayed by the Red Crab Queen of Self Criticism, but no! She’s just getting hyped up for some cult-like chanting and then a giant, cathartic scream:
If we were going for a predictable movie ending, Red Gaga would dissolve into a puff of smoke or perhaps shrink and curl up inside her Compact Tangle Teezer shell from the power of the scream. Nope! Instead, they all keep thrash-dancing because they really want to win.
But then they all stop and it seems maybe the Red Demon of Negative Thinking really is defeated. Or at the very least is ready for a nap:
But the real(?) Gaga gives us an inscrutable look at the very end. Is she surprised? Scared? Is she building up to another scream? Maybe all of the above! ART!
This is definitely the energy I need to summon right now. Winter is the hardest season for me and at this point in the year, when I realize there’s at least another full month of big jackets in my future AND there are no calendar holidays until the end of May, it’s tempting to give in to my dark red goblin thoughts and hide under a blanket. But wouldn’t it be better to find a group of friends, put on some UnderGagarments, and dance it out? Yes it would. I would also like to let out a loud, lengthy scream so if you have access to a big empty banquet hall or something similar, please let me know.
Keep on dancing, friends, and don’t let your red spiky side win! I’ll be back next month with more great moves.
Love and jazz hands,
Molly
Like maybe a…. “perfect illusion?” HEYO.
Close runner up: catching-a-football-while-jumping-into-the-air Lady Gaga.
Or as the current top comment on YouTube reads: “Old Testament Gaga back like she never even fvcking left.” FACT.